After Zazen I often begin to blame myself that I am such a bad practitioner and that I am not a monk. And I feel pretty bad when I understand that I'm just a layman spending some time sitting zazen every day. Is this normal? If not what can I do?


Whether you are ordained or a lay practitioner, is really up to you. If you feel that your practice as a lay person is insufficient, it would be a good idea to become ordained and train more intensely. Everyone has to know for themselves, what is good for them in their training.